Grab Ahold

I fell down in the middle of the street in Brooklyn one time. Broad daylight, busy intersection. I’m clumsy that way. Okay, I was looking at my phone and I tripped. Down goes Whatley. Fell hard on my knees, elbows, chin, my cell phone bounced off the asphalt and scittered away, further into the street. “Mamí, Mamí,” a man standing in the doorway of a corner grocery comes running to help me up. “Mamí, are you okay?” He reaches down with muscular arms. I grab ahold.  He … [Read more...]

You Call This News?

On the eve of Independence Day, I want to talk about freedom of the press. More specifically, freedom to prounce around and act like journalists, blathering on about total and complete drivel. You can tell I’m going in for the kill here on female broadcasters. It is patently absurd what anchorwomen wear these days. They look like hookers. This isn’t the Church Lady talking here, I think the disdain for the low-cut dresses and dangling earrings is fairly representative … [Read more...]

Overstimulated at the Airport Bar

Logan International - Boston, February 5, 2013 TV monitors everywhere.Hillary in the flippy-do debuted her new website today. Pundits pounce. Pakistan is erecting a theme park near Bin Laden’s former lair,amusement by any other name. Pat Boone’s become a pitchman for geriatric bathtubs. Get a grip, sister. Your old man is only draggin’ you into the tub cause you stinky.He’s not trying to drown you.Portugese water dogs, oh man! Obama! No fear of going under there, cept’ … [Read more...]

They Work Hard for Their Money

So the blog's been neglected, as if you've been pining way for witicisms from Jean, right?  It's because I've been a workin' fool lately. Good thing, as the wolves, in the form of not only one, but two goons with missing teeth have, of late, been knocking at my door. I won't go into detail, but I ain't lying. While I continue to do book talks (shout out to Kenn Ann Smith and Victoria Babu for hosting this month!) and I've been seen out on street corners selling books … [Read more...]

Lovers, Brothers and Democrats

***This is an essay I submitted to Salon.*** Probably too late and too long, but I wanted to share with my readers.*** I’ve got that tingly feeling. Not the way you feel when you’re about to speak in front of an audience, not the way you feel when the house lights go down, or just before that first kiss, this tingly feeling is limited to my left arm. It’s tingling all the way from my elbow down to my pinky finger, where it stops, because there is no sensation there, at … [Read more...]