Baseline

Saturday morning, looking for shorts to wear to the high school track where I’ve been rehabbing, my hip, not the track, I come across the tennis skirt I bought last July at the Sports Authority Final Clearance Sale. The tag is still on it. Smiling, I get it out of the closet and step into its crisp, white, pleated perfection, pulling it up over my spider-veined legs with a darling new tattoo at the top—a five inch scar on my right butt cheek. Skirt is cheeky, tad bit … [Read more...]

Sisters in Ink

The young woman in the ladies room was washing her armpits with a damp paper towel. She tossed it in the trash, then waved her hand in front of the sensor, twice. Double load. She tore it off, ran warm water over the paper, wrung it out, and swabbed her underarms again. Helluva time for your deodorant to fail. By the time I came out of the stall, she had put her houndstooth blazer back on and was reapplying her lipstick. Confidence restored. It’s been a long time … [Read more...]

Grab Ahold

I fell down in the middle of the street in Brooklyn one time. Broad daylight, busy intersection. I’m clumsy that way. Okay, I was looking at my phone and I tripped. Down goes Whatley. Fell hard on my knees, elbows, chin, my cell phone bounced off the asphalt and scittered away, further into the street. “Mamí, Mamí,” a man standing in the doorway of a corner grocery comes running to help me up. “Mamí, are you okay?” He reaches down with muscular arms. I grab ahold.  He … [Read more...]

You Call This News?

On the eve of Independence Day, I want to talk about freedom of the press. More specifically, freedom to prounce around and act like journalists, blathering on about total and complete drivel. You can tell I’m going in for the kill here on female broadcasters. It is patently absurd what anchorwomen wear these days. They look like hookers. This isn’t the Church Lady talking here, I think the disdain for the low-cut dresses and dangling earrings is fairly representative … [Read more...]

Can You Hear Me in the Back? An interview with Guy Kawasaki

I'm so pleased to share an interview I did a few days ago with Guy Kawasaki, which I published on SheWrites, a great platform for women authors. Guy is THE deal, man. In addition to being an Apple brainiac, he is the author of 12 books, (including Art of the Start, Enchantment-The Art of Changing Hearts, Minds and Actions and most recently APE - Author, Publisher, Entrepreneur.) Mostly, he's just a really bright and decent guy, who never realized how he positively … [Read more...]

Fresh Picked, Locally Grown, Locally Published

  If you're in the neighborhood, or want to fly in for some strawberries or Kettle Korn, stop by the Webster Groves Farmers Market tomorrow, May 23rd, where my travelin' partner and I will be signing copies of Off the Leash. Well, Libby will be on the leash, otherwise, she'd take off with the first person to offer her a scrap of meat. Look for Libby to be laying on her back, letting people rub her belly. Hell, I might do that if you buy TWO books! Webster Groves … [Read more...]

Warms the Cockles of This Writer’s Heart

Thanks to The Jupiter Girls Book Club for posing with my book!  Will Skype for food. I'll just eat mine here. … [Read more...]

Overstimulated at the Airport Bar

Logan International - Boston, February 5, 2013 TV monitors everywhere.Hillary in the flippy-do debuted her new website today. Pundits pounce. Pakistan is erecting a theme park near Bin Laden’s former lair,amusement by any other name. Pat Boone’s become a pitchman for geriatric bathtubs. Get a grip, sister. Your old man is only draggin’ you into the tub cause you stinky.He’s not trying to drown you.Portugese water dogs, oh man! Obama! No fear of going under there, cept’ … [Read more...]

No Ruts In Our Shoulders

My friend and I were laughing smugly the other night about being Kate Hudson-like when it comes to our endowment -- modest.  That's okay with us, less gravitational pull you know and no disfigurement from overburdened bra straps. Then I read a comment this morning from Sioux, a reader who had commented on my Death By Girdle post. It reminded me of something I wrote three years ago, about the unblinking truth of the YMCA locker room, which seems particularly prescient … [Read more...]

Lovers, Brothers and Democrats

***This is an essay I submitted to Salon.*** Probably too late and too long, but I wanted to share with my readers.*** I’ve got that tingly feeling. Not the way you feel when you’re about to speak in front of an audience, not the way you feel when the house lights go down, or just before that first kiss, this tingly feeling is limited to my left arm. It’s tingling all the way from my elbow down to my pinky finger, where it stops, because there is no sensation there, at … [Read more...]